Wednesday, January 30, 2019

PODS means...Possible, Or, Deniable Service

'You know, in all this excitement, I lost track myself. Did I shoot six shots or only five? Ya gotta ask yourself a question...do I feel lucky? Well...do ya punk..Oh forget it, in fact, I don't remember firing at all!

Well, I'm not Dirty Harry, but I did forget to relate my trials and extreme tribulations with my Personal On Demand Storage unit. Let me attempt to relate the near catastrophic results to you as best I can.

My PODS arrived on time. It was pouring rain, and the driver said that he could not place it where I assumed it would be placed, and proceeded to place in on my new driveway. O. K. it's here, I can start loading stuff into this eight foot by sixteen foot "Easy Bake Oven".

Well, I did just that. And as I was loading box after box into this thing, it occurred to me that there must be a weight limit. Weight limit? What was it? The packing instructions inside the unit said to utilize every bit of space by packing tightly and going floor to ceiling. That is exactly what I did. Mind you, I have an extensive shop, and most of its contents were to go in this container.

I called the Home Office. The Customer Service Representitive was quite cordial. Not very helpful or technical though. I asked what the maximum weight of the PODS container could be with my load on board. She hesitated for a moment or two...oh boy! That is not good. Then she said: "Two thousand pounds."

Really? I know I have more than that in there, and it is not one quarter full. "May is speak to someone who is familiar with maximum fill loads in these containers?" (Rep): "I will transfer your call..."

"May I help you?" came the reply from the supervisor. "Yes" said I. "What is the maximum load I can put into this eight by sixteen foot container"? Supervisor said..."10,000 pounds. The PODS unit itself weighs 2,000 pounds empty."

"Oh! O.K. It would be nice if you let people know that on your website, I will continue packing." Then, creepy thoughts came to the forefront of my feeble brain. How do I know what is in there already? How the hell do you measure what is in there? What if they can't lift it? Oh my dear lord...

Two months later, when I asked for them to deliver it to the new address, they came. It was lifted by the Podzilla lift, and gingerly placed on the Class C truck. As the truck frame took the weight of the POD and the Podzilla lift rig, the suspension gave little to no resistance to the G-force of the load. The truck body was sitting on the rear tires. The driver said cordially; "I can't drive this, you are going to have to unload some of the stuff..." Oh! Joy of joys!

Please try to imagine the amount of work I went through to put this large Tetris game together. Boxes and boards, and tool boxes carefully wedged into every cubic foot of space. Heavy stuff on the floor and lighter stuff as it got closer to the roof. Now, I had to offload "some" of the contents. How much was enough?

When the movers came to move the house contents, I negotiated to have them take some of the PODS contents in their Class "A" van. It seemed like about a bit more than a third of the load was removed from the container. Then, I had to reposition a bunch of stuff to make sure the stuff would not shift around. That process took another week. I called for another "pick-up".

The same driver came again, and again, he hooked up the Podzilla lift rig, and placed the container on the same light weight Class "C" truck frame. This time there was clearance, sort of. It was nearly rubbing on one side of the rear tires. He looked at me with steely eyes and said: "I really should not take this; it's over weight." Oh Lord! Not again. Then, he decided to pull the rig up further on the driveway to a more level spot. He then said: "Let's go!". There was and air gap between the top of the rear tires and the truck frame.

My new home is at a higher altitude than the previous abode. In reality, it is 800-1000 feet higher. Uphill all the way. The PODS transport truck has an automatic transmission. At the crest of the hill on the road I now live on, the truck was doing about one mile an hour. On the ride over to that point, the container was swaying back and forth like a drunk in a bounce house. Let me say that the trip nearly ended on that hilltop. The MPH was dropping, and transmission temperature was climbing into the red zone. We made it just the same.

He was able to place the container near my new shop entrance, and I provided some timbers to make it level. He said it was the heaviest load he had taken. I asked how much the Podzilla lift could elevate, and he said twenty-five thousand pounds. But the truck can only handle up to ten thousand pounds. That makes sense, right? I gave him a twenty, and waved goodbye.

I still have no idea how much weight I had in the thing the first time. After the off-load, it must have been way more that 10,000 pounds to strain that truck like it did.

Three weeks later, and the last of the boxes came out of the PODS container. I had to build shelving and arrange the shop space to accept the contents of the now infamous, PODS container from hell. All that remains now is an eight foot by twenty foot patch of dead grass where the container and the makeshift ramp I cobbled together sat. It is a very pretty sight to see that thing gone.

So, how much can you pack into a PODS container? A lot. How much weight can it hold? I dare you to try to find a definitive answer to that query. And if you do, how in God's creation can you measure the weight of contents? Oh!, I know, every box you carry in, your weight would be subtracted from the number on the scale you step on entering the PODS unit. That should speed things up.

PODS this...

Be well and do the right thing.

Gaff